The day after Father's Day has brought resolve to my heart and spirit. As I stood in my dining room listening to stories about fathers, my heart suddenly felt a peace I hadn't felt before concerning my dad. God has done a great thing.
I am a fatherless daughter. For those who know me, they may not understand this statement. I lived in the home with both my parents. Yet, emotionally I was fatherless. For so many years I became emotionally and physically fatherless. Because of this, I made decisions for years that brought a lot of pain into my heart. Whenever I would think about my dad and what he taught me, all I could see was the pain. As the end of his life fastly approached in 2014, I began to be reminded of the strength I saw in my dad for many years. I saw him fight cancer like the man the little girl in me always saw, Strong and unwilling to give in.
As the years have passed, sometimes I have to remind myself that the physical separation I have with my dad is permanent. I didn't realize I still needed to heal. Yet, isn't that how healing is. As you grow in life, you have to continue to peel back layers of you to get to the next layer of you. Today is evident to me that I have turned a corner in my relationship with the man who gave me life.
Today marks the day when I accept who my Father was, his good and not so good. He gave me what he knew and God has and does use this to make me the woman I am, NOW. What does this mean? It means because of who my dad was to me, God filled up the empty places within me to be whole. What does this mean? I'm so glad you asked. It means I can no longer blame my dad for being the reason I make choices concerning relationships, limitations, or stagnation.
You see, today is LIBERATION for this fatherless daughter. I accept it!
I accept it because liberation has come to my heart and soul. I take ownership of my choices that many years later still caused my heart to ache. NOW I see the man who gave me life as daddy and no longer as painful. I'm FREE. My daddy was the first man I loved. He was strong-willed, had a temper, and fought battles I never knew. He was my daddy, but he was a man who experienced life way before he took on the role of daddy. He was the man God chose to father me. God knew what I would need to get to my liberation day. For that I am grateful. I give myself permission to accept and release with each layer of healing I am graced concerning my dad because I desire to be FREE.
For many fatherless daughters, you remain in the pain of your choices concerning relationships because you won't take ownership of your choices. It is easier to keep placing the blame on the father who wasn't there or who was there but emotionally unavailable. In his brokenness, he did what he knew, and that caused your heart to ache. However; you have to take responsibility for your decisions to no longer be controlled by your dad's limitations or your actions in response to it.
I understand the ease in blaming daddy for the relationships that broke your heart, lowered your self-esteem, and abandoned you. Yet, in doing so you remain a victim. It's time to take responsibility and permit yourself to forgive daddy and yourself. Don't you want your liberation day? It's waiting for you.
I chose to allow God to mend my broken pieces attached to my dad.
I chose to allow God to show ME, ME and owned my choices
I chose to do the INNER WORKK required to Heal and Restore not only the little girl within me but the WOMAN I have become.
You can do the same If you are willing.
Forgiving your dad, won't deny what he has or has not done. It is for your freedom. Father's Day no longer has to be a day of anger, regret, and sadness for you because of what you wished you had.
Here are some steps you can take to assist you in getting to your LIBERATION DAY
1. Write down what you experienced with your dad.
2. Write down how those actions or lack thereof made you feel
3. Write down the decisions/actions that you have done as a result
4. Write down how those actions (yours and your dads) affect you now
5. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and work through them individually
5. Permit yourself to allow forgiveness to come within you (for dad and yourself)
6. Begin to affirm yourself
7. Know that it's ok for you to live beyond where you have been and daily walk it out
I know this is not easy and it will require you to look at your life in a whole different way, but you are capable of succeeding. Are you ready? Awesome! Go for it.
I would love to hear feedback from you in regards to today's Blog. Simple leave your comments below or send me an email via the contact page here. Take the first step and change the narrative of your life. You deserve it.
I help women of faith to heal their hearts to become visible to themselves and SHIFT into a life of Freedom. If you would like to discuss with me how I can help you on your journey, set up a 15-minute complimentary session with me HERE